well, seems to me that I used to post a lot more often, and I am wondering whether I am going to go the way of so many before me and just give this up. I don't think it is keeping an accurate record for me for sometime later.. it's mostly a place to hold links to all the pages I like to look at on the internet. Maybe if I were saying something of trying to make a difference I would have more success blogging but, I mean I just don't have shit to say right now.
I saw a Fucking awful movie called 9 songs and it was just bullshit and no good. Maybe 1/2* for showing me more porn then I have ever seen... but it wasn't even exciting sex:(
I also saw Borat ****
it was perfect, who could ask for anything more:) I smoked a bowl and then navigated the city via bus and walking routes to end up in the movie extremly pleased with getting myseld around in such a state and the movie was really funny.. there were definetly times that are not for the squemish and there were some jokes I didn't laugh at ( but other people did...) and I really almost fell on the floor with the naked wrestling/balls in face scene.
Squid and the Whale: ***
I liked this movie but is seemed kind like just another intellectual family deals with how fucked up they are. The Tennebaums is in my top 3 movies of all time and so maybe that is why this just didn't seem as fresh and new as I wanted it to. The dialogue is wonderful and Jeff Daniels is MR. AMAZING BEARD... so that is reason enough to see it in my book.
I am also digging Heroes on NBC? I can't get the networks straight.
I don't know about you guys but, I am not loving Studio 60.
November 13, 2006
November 9, 2006
Jess and HTML
So I spent the better part of the last 2 hours playing with this webpage's preformatted HTML so that I could make it the way I wanted it. I feel good about the page in general, and I really only changed the colors and backgournd image. You would be suprised what a bother it is to scan for coding you mostly don't understand. I do not use HTML very often, if ever really... and it was a little trial and error for me but, I hate that blogspot lets you change somethings but, not everything... I want complete control within a parameter (hahaha, that sounds ridiculous). Fuck, anyway...
Lets hope the Democrats get off their asses and make some fucking plans and get on with them... Cause even though I like blue much better than red, the Blue Team isn't known for being very aggressive lately... or really doing anything. I hope it changes....
Lets hope the Democrats get off their asses and make some fucking plans and get on with them... Cause even though I like blue much better than red, the Blue Team isn't known for being very aggressive lately... or really doing anything. I hope it changes....
November 7, 2006
Funny stuff to pass the time
well, If you don't know who Sean Baby is, then that is alright.. 'cause I didn't know until I started paying attention to video games (although I am still not playing them?) Anyway, these video game geeks can be pretty F'in hilarious.
Go here and read this, if you don't think it's funny... then you suck and have no sense of humor.
Go here and read this, if you don't think it's funny... then you suck and have no sense of humor.
November 3, 2006
November 2, 2006
I sent a mass email...
I sent a mass email but if I managed to miss you with this question.... well how bout you answer it here!
Question: What is the truest thing you know?
Question: What is the truest thing you know?
October 30, 2006
Now don't get me wrong
Chicago is wonderful because it is big and beautiful and a city. I have my own home, I have a job for now anyway, and I don't hate it at all. But I really miss having a boy best friend. Casey is amazing and i love living with her more everyday but, there is something that just isn't completly whole about me here.
Lately I have been taking lots of baths,
sometimes with bubbles and sometimes without. I seem, also, to take a glass of red wine and a pack of cigarettes with me. I haven taken to listening to Sting's new lute album and crying.
Way down deep in my chest is a pain. It is not a dull ache, it is not a constant throb, it is not a broken heart. It feels as if someone has their hands on my emotions. As if all the possible feelings I could have have been bundled in to a quarter sized place in my sternum. everything I could ever feel, I am feeling at once and all the emotion is trying to break free from this space. It is as if all of my emotions were ants in their hill, everyone jostling and fighting to retreat when the water hose is turned on them.
This is it exactly: I am lost.
How does one go about living for themselves. I have been trying to figure this out for years now. I just don't know how to do it. I am happy to have alone time. I am pleased to sit by myself and listen to music, to read, to think, to veg in front of tv, to wander to the park, to ride the el, to do the laundry but, I feel that these are mostly all just tasks to be performed.
Here it is also, Last year living at home sucked but, it also did not suck at all. For the first time I was in my parents house and doing whatever I wanted to do. Much of the perfection of this time is due to Ian, maybe almost 90%. I did not know that I could be so chill. I did not know that I was so astute, or that I loved horror films (the rare good ones) or that I would really love the Nintendo DS or that I would care about the new gen graphics of XBOX360. And we cannot forget the Metal music. Where on earth did that come from. (how Unearthly! (lame joke, sorry)).
I miss him. and David too, of course, although I have been without him longer so it is easier to bear. I know that david is always going to love me and talk to me about books and music and miss me and I am far less sure that It will be the same with Ian.
Maybe all the emotion is just this: uncertainty. Yes. Yes. this is the most uncertain I have been in my life.
Here I am in this beautiful apartment. Come and visit.
Lately I have been taking lots of baths,
sometimes with bubbles and sometimes without. I seem, also, to take a glass of red wine and a pack of cigarettes with me. I haven taken to listening to Sting's new lute album and crying.
Way down deep in my chest is a pain. It is not a dull ache, it is not a constant throb, it is not a broken heart. It feels as if someone has their hands on my emotions. As if all the possible feelings I could have have been bundled in to a quarter sized place in my sternum. everything I could ever feel, I am feeling at once and all the emotion is trying to break free from this space. It is as if all of my emotions were ants in their hill, everyone jostling and fighting to retreat when the water hose is turned on them.
This is it exactly: I am lost.
How does one go about living for themselves. I have been trying to figure this out for years now. I just don't know how to do it. I am happy to have alone time. I am pleased to sit by myself and listen to music, to read, to think, to veg in front of tv, to wander to the park, to ride the el, to do the laundry but, I feel that these are mostly all just tasks to be performed.
Here it is also, Last year living at home sucked but, it also did not suck at all. For the first time I was in my parents house and doing whatever I wanted to do. Much of the perfection of this time is due to Ian, maybe almost 90%. I did not know that I could be so chill. I did not know that I was so astute, or that I loved horror films (the rare good ones) or that I would really love the Nintendo DS or that I would care about the new gen graphics of XBOX360. And we cannot forget the Metal music. Where on earth did that come from. (how Unearthly! (lame joke, sorry)).
I miss him. and David too, of course, although I have been without him longer so it is easier to bear. I know that david is always going to love me and talk to me about books and music and miss me and I am far less sure that It will be the same with Ian.
Maybe all the emotion is just this: uncertainty. Yes. Yes. this is the most uncertain I have been in my life.
Here I am in this beautiful apartment. Come and visit.
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