December 27, 2006

Home again Home again, jiggity jig

I am back in Chicago, to my apartment last night at about 1 and finally got to sleep about 2, expecting to sleep late, watch Price is Right, Work -out, Go to store, Unpack bag... that was the day I had planned BUT i got the dreaded Temp Phone call and thus am now a work. I am sooooooo tired.

Good News:
Christmas was fucking stellar, except that I was only home long enough to miss being home. It was fucking awful leaving. I feel like I left for the first time all over again! It is a frustrating way to feel. I only got to spend like one day with everyone (time wise) and that is NOT enough! Now Ian is going to watch the Godfather II without me and I so wanted to see it with him for his first time. I had a very Wii/Guitar Hero II time. I wish I were playing either one of them RIGHT FUCKING NOW! I dreamed some Guitar Hero songs last night... (oh yeah it IS that cool!)

I have to go file some stuff but I wanted to say that I am so happy I got to see David and Rae and Hannah whilst I was home. I am sad I missed Krissy and I really didn't get to talk to Erin. Maybe I will make it there before next Christmas but, I really don't know.

December 20, 2006

Hello Boy!

Lets all welcome Jesse to Blogspot!

December 19, 2006

I really live here now.

Today I got my Illinois State Driver's License. The picture isn't even bad! Casey got hers also. Good times.... good times... I am currently looking for things to keep me busy on the internet... really busy... like hours worth of busy... let me know if you know anything.

December 18, 2006

December 14, 2006

Jezis Maria

I still don't have a permenant job and the money is starting to get really scary. Let's all hope I get a job for Christmas (and about 300 bucks)

I will be in Hendersonville From the night of Friday Dec. 22 Until the night of Tues Dec 26. I hope to be busy and stoned.

December 8, 2006

hug me

Remember that episode of Scrubs where J.D. really wants to get laid because it has been a while and he accidentally bumps into (doug?) that guy who they sent to the morgue, and because that is the only physical contact JD has had in a long time and (Doug? too) they stop in the hall and hold their respective shoulders and sigh a little...

well I said all that to say that I bumped into a guy today and he touched my arm and it made me realize that he is the only person besides Casey to touch me in about 14 days.

I could use a snuggle.
Xerox will let you pick a card, choose a pre-written entry or write your own, and they will send it to someone overseas in the millitary. It's nice. Click Here to send a card to someone .

November 29, 2006

I know it's silly

sometimes my heart aches a little. It seems to come out of nowhere. I can be skimming the internet for album reviews and suddenly, I just ache inside a little. I think it must be the feeling of lonely. I am not sad. I am loving Chicago (still no job:( ). I am learning to make myself happy. I am not sad. Sometimes, for no reason, I just feel like....... my heart is breaking a little.

November 21, 2006


Pitchfork Slams...

I have been reading Pitchfork recently at work and I wanted to collect some of the awesome dissing power. Having linked these things does not mean I agree... although I do sometimes.... it just means that after initially reading what I have pasted below I responded with a vocal sound much like this: oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhwww

What's most difficult of all to look past is that Black Holes was created in all earnestness by three dudes in Hot Topic shirts advancing a vision of rock music that operates on three fundamental assumptions: 1) distortion is always better than no distortion; 2) every measure of music should contain at least one drum fill; and 3) the future will be dominated by robots. Muse leave no room for compromise on these points. So for peace of mind, call them retro, because they can't reasonably consider such a vision inventive or resonant in 2K6. Can they?

Ben Kweller
Any ex-Partridge Family member will tell you the main challenge being a teen musician rests on those make-or-break years between teenhood and adulthood-- that 18-24ish range where you ideally produce something profound, a rite of passage signifying the end of Weezer ripoffs and un-ironic lyrics about ice cream. For Ben Kweller, the clock's ticking. He's no 21st century Leif Garrett by any stretch of the imagination, but Kweller, like fellow former teen rocker Daniel John of Silverchair, appears uncertain of his next step after a short-lived grunge backwash band. Although his latest self-titled offering expresses a desire to sound adult, he overshoots the mark, creating an album of innocuous, world-wearied alt-pop that lacks the fun or energy to stay up past eleven.

Wait, people actually care about lyrics? Without them we couldn't have the same powerful, personal connections with people who make songs? Okay, fine. Words are important. But screams are better. That's something Cursive frontman Tim Kasher seemed to understand a decade ago, when he ripped out his heart, sewed it on his sleeve, and called it Such Blinding Stars for the Starving Eyes. But around Y2K, a funny thing happened-- he seemed to decide he'd rather his lyrics be understood than his voice be heard.

He's grown up, alright. With the energy Jay brings to most of these tracks, you'd think 30 was the new 60. His patented whispery change-up is used more than ever before, and often makes him sound like Dr. Moreau-era Marlon Brando when all we needed was a little Apocalypse Now. We didn't expect the young, brash Jigga, but we never thought Jay would be flashing AARP brochures in our faces and dropping Gwyneth Paltrow's name in a rap song. Twice he addresses his recent heavily publicized boycott of Cristal champagne which even he acknowledges is unimportant. But that's Kingdom Come: Jay boringly rapping about boring stuff and being totally comfortable with it

and Finally....

The Mars Volta
None of this is surprsing: It's the Mars Volta's third proper album and a blizzard of onanism is expected-- to quite a few people, it'll be highly anticipated. Hell, it even had me interested: This is ex-At the Drive In bassist Paul Hinojos' first studio stint with the band after he started touring with them in 2005. Maybe he'd turn back the clock and force his comrades to look in the mirror and see how far they've strayed off course? Sadly not. Which reminds me: Bixler-Zavala and Volta keyboardist Ikey Owens guest on Mastodon's new Blood Mountain album. Maybe they'll brainwash Atlanta's finest metal band into this kinda bullshit so the world can celebrate the crushing loss of two great bands together.

November 20, 2006


Casino Royale: ***
It was hard for me to decide whether this was a 3 or 3 1/2 star movie... I may change my mind and up it later. It was great. It was everything you want your Bond movie to be. It had great huge explosions, several hot women, hot men (fucking hot men), and even some crazy unbelievable torture! This also has cards, (obviously) and I have noticed the trend both in playing and watching poker on t.v. in the last 2 years so, I think it is safe to say that most people know about Texas Hold 'Em. Anyway.. great Bond movie....

I actually went to see it so that I could see the SPIDERMAN 3 Trailer!
Maybe you don't know this about me but Spiderman 2 may be my favorite movie ever. It is atleast in the top 3. I fucking love Spiderman and this trailer did not let me down at all. Still no Venom (which is PERFECT! ) but you get a lot of the emotional pre-story in this trailer. I will say that I held my breath through the whole thing (was it a minute long?!?!?!) and I almost cried (During a TRAILER, wow.... I am a little wussy but I think that says more about the movie then about me.. or atleast I hope it does) ... and when it was over... the theatre was quite and I breathed out and moaned, baby. Some people sitting behind me laughed and I laughed too. See that shit ' cause I don't want to ruin it for anyone else...

Joey was here too for the filming which was at my house on sat and a little sun. I didn't even do anything and I am exhausted and stressed out. We have one day before Andrew comes... one day to relax... Maybe I can get Casey to watch The Incredibles...

The Wiikend

Both Ian and Tim are Wii owners. and they both have Zelda.
I have neither, so it is easy to see why I am sad.

November 17, 2006

Working in an Office, I really want a Wii, and Job Interview

So working in an office is really strange. Everyone is so polite all the time. Everyone says please and thank you. What about when there are like 8 people in the elevator and everyone ignores everyone else? Also, and this is driving me nuts, all the men in the elevator will wait for me to get off. They all stand there until the women leave the elevator. I think this is supposed to be Chivalrous but it is fucking ridiculous to wait there for me to get off, especially when I always ride in the back of the elevator.

I really want a Wii. Really a lot.

I had an interview yesterday that was supposed to take about 1 and 1/2 hours and it took 2 and 1/2 hours. I had asked the place I am temping if I could be about 15-30 mintues late coming back from lunch because of it and, they said yes, of course but, I was gone an hour longer than I thought I would be. Oops. I just felt like shit because I couldn't call and tell them because I was in the interview part of an interview (there were some tests and an application first) and I just felt like a douche walking in to work after, what amounts to, a 2 and a half hour lunch break. Didn't get to eat anything, though....

I am really sleepy today. I think I hopefully (come on Netflix) will have The Machinist to watch when I get home and I may see Let's Go To Prision or Stranger Than Ficition tomorrow....

The PS3, making losing your mind easy!

PlayStation 3 shopper shot outside Wal-Mart

November 16, 2006

Round One.... FIGHT!

Hey everyone should go to google and click on the google image. It will take you to a Google homepage you can customize. Choose to add more in the upper right hand corner (I think) and it will take you to a page where you can click things to add them to the page. FIND GOOGLE FIGHT. You can type in 2 things and then there is a little stick-figure-fighting-animation and then you get to see which of the things you typed in has more hits. Make sure everytime the word FIGHT animates on your screen you say fight like they do in Mortal Combat. This has seriously kept me entertained for about 2 hours.

November 13, 2006

no computer no posting....

well, seems to me that I used to post a lot more often, and I am wondering whether I am going to go the way of so many before me and just give this up. I don't think it is keeping an accurate record for me for sometime later.. it's mostly a place to hold links to all the pages I like to look at on the internet. Maybe if I were saying something of trying to make a difference I would have more success blogging but, I mean I just don't have shit to say right now.

I saw a Fucking awful movie called 9 songs and it was just bullshit and no good. Maybe 1/2* for showing me more porn then I have ever seen... but it wasn't even exciting sex:(

I also saw Borat ****
it was perfect, who could ask for anything more:) I smoked a bowl and then navigated the city via bus and walking routes to end up in the movie extremly pleased with getting myseld around in such a state and the movie was really funny.. there were definetly times that are not for the squemish and there were some jokes I didn't laugh at ( but other people did...) and I really almost fell on the floor with the naked wrestling/balls in face scene.

Squid and the Whale: ***
I liked this movie but is seemed kind like just another intellectual family deals with how fucked up they are. The Tennebaums is in my top 3 movies of all time and so maybe that is why this just didn't seem as fresh and new as I wanted it to. The dialogue is wonderful and Jeff Daniels is MR. AMAZING BEARD... so that is reason enough to see it in my book.

I am also digging Heroes on NBC? I can't get the networks straight.

I don't know about you guys but, I am not loving Studio 60.

November 9, 2006

Haiku2 for lilyiris
wind in the trees and
first few drivers on the street
the smell of fresh bread
Created by Grahame

It's ALL BLUE, Baby!

Source: Allen to concede in Va. Senate race
Webb's victory gives Democrats control of Congress after House win

Jess and HTML

So I spent the better part of the last 2 hours playing with this webpage's preformatted HTML so that I could make it the way I wanted it. I feel good about the page in general, and I really only changed the colors and backgournd image. You would be suprised what a bother it is to scan for coding you mostly don't understand. I do not use HTML very often, if ever really... and it was a little trial and error for me but, I hate that blogspot lets you change somethings but, not everything... I want complete control within a parameter (hahaha, that sounds ridiculous). Fuck, anyway...

Lets hope the Democrats get off their asses and make some fucking plans and get on with them... Cause even though I like blue much better than red, the Blue Team isn't known for being very aggressive lately... or really doing anything. I hope it changes....

November 7, 2006

Man with 10-year erection may not get his cash - Men's Health -

Man with 10-year erection may not get his cash - Men's Health -

Funny stuff to pass the time

well, If you don't know who Sean Baby is, then that is alright.. 'cause I didn't know until I started paying attention to video games (although I am still not playing them?) Anyway, these video game geeks can be pretty F'in hilarious.

Go here and read this, if you don't think it's funny... then you suck and have no sense of humor.

November 3, 2006

muppets are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

November 2, 2006

I sent a mass email...

I sent a mass email but if I managed to miss you with this question.... well how bout you answer it here!

Question: What is the truest thing you know?

remember this. If Not, it's a link...

October 30, 2006

Now don't get me wrong

Chicago is wonderful because it is big and beautiful and a city. I have my own home, I have a job for now anyway, and I don't hate it at all. But I really miss having a boy best friend. Casey is amazing and i love living with her more everyday but, there is something that just isn't completly whole about me here.

Lately I have been taking lots of baths,
sometimes with bubbles and sometimes without. I seem, also, to take a glass of red wine and a pack of cigarettes with me. I haven taken to listening to Sting's new lute album and crying.

Way down deep in my chest is a pain. It is not a dull ache, it is not a constant throb, it is not a broken heart. It feels as if someone has their hands on my emotions. As if all the possible feelings I could have have been bundled in to a quarter sized place in my sternum. everything I could ever feel, I am feeling at once and all the emotion is trying to break free from this space. It is as if all of my emotions were ants in their hill, everyone jostling and fighting to retreat when the water hose is turned on them.

This is it exactly: I am lost.
How does one go about living for themselves. I have been trying to figure this out for years now. I just don't know how to do it. I am happy to have alone time. I am pleased to sit by myself and listen to music, to read, to think, to veg in front of tv, to wander to the park, to ride the el, to do the laundry but, I feel that these are mostly all just tasks to be performed.

Here it is also, Last year living at home sucked but, it also did not suck at all. For the first time I was in my parents house and doing whatever I wanted to do. Much of the perfection of this time is due to Ian, maybe almost 90%. I did not know that I could be so chill. I did not know that I was so astute, or that I loved horror films (the rare good ones) or that I would really love the Nintendo DS or that I would care about the new gen graphics of XBOX360. And we cannot forget the Metal music. Where on earth did that come from. (how Unearthly! (lame joke, sorry)).

I miss him. and David too, of course, although I have been without him longer so it is easier to bear. I know that david is always going to love me and talk to me about books and music and miss me and I am far less sure that It will be the same with Ian.

Maybe all the emotion is just this: uncertainty. Yes. Yes. this is the most uncertain I have been in my life.

Here I am in this beautiful apartment. Come and visit.

September 20, 2006


SO I have a little more than a week left here in Hendersonville and then it is off to Chicago for me:)

My Address will be

Jess Kenyon
2725 N. Franciso Ave #2
Chicago, IL 60647

at least I think that is the address. If not I will let you all know.

Also, if anyone had any ideas about what kind of job I should do, then please let me know, because I haven't a clue. I would like to make money so that I can save some and travel....

August 12, 2006

Ladies is pimps, too?

so here is question for the ladies...

have you ever had sex that you enjoyed whilst just lying there? I mean sex where you do nothing (except maybe moan) and it be GOOD sex? I don't think this is possible but I am willing to here from other women, just to be sure....

July 18, 2006

i have just been so sad.... and scared.

May 26, 2006

sup g's?

Lately I have just been trying to keep things a moving... I have been working A lot and running and trying to eat 3 meals a day.... amazing. BUt I have also been watching some shit:

If you don't know about Deadwood and you know someone with digital cable and HBO then you can watch the some on HBO on demand and you should really get on that shit because cowboys are amazing and this is a completely new world for me.

A quick report:

Da Vinci Code: *
This was one of the most boring and tedius movies I have seen in quite a while. With completely lackluster character portrayl and mind numbing music, I was proud of myself for not falling asleep. this movie was too slow and too long. It also just seemed to suck the life out of a story instead of putting life into it. Someone on NPR said that is was as if everyone in this movie was afraid of taking any risks with their roles ( including Ron Howard) and I couldn't agree more.

X3: The Last Stand: **1/2
So much better than I expected. I had heard such bad bad bad things but I was pleasantly surprised. There was some heart and soul in this movie along with Kelsey Grammar as Beast and he was amazing. Some good fighting at the end and the scenes with Phoenix's Mind control powers taking control were pretty cool looking.

Mission Impossible 3: ***
Fuck yeah J.J. Abrams. The guy who directed this does the shows LOST and until recently ALIAS. He brought some amazing shit to the table and the explosions and deaths in this movie are so well shot that I am surprised I haven't seen it again. So surprised I might go right now.... or in 15 mintues... (HURA!)

Over the Hedge: ***
The best non-Pixar anamation I have seen in some time... It wasn't really extremely laugh out loud funny but I chuckled pretty regularly through out. Bruce Willis and Steve Carrell were great. I like a cookie, indeed!

Art School Confidental: **1/2
I can't possibly spell zweigoff corectly but if Ya liked GHOST WORLD then your sensibilities are right for this movie. Maybe you should see GRANDMA'S BOY right before you see this... lots of the same people and its also really great...I should have more to say about this movie but I am getting tired...

so here are just some stars....

Second Hand Lions: ***1/2
Boiler Room: **
American Haunting: YUCK
Open Range: **** ( SEE THIS MOVIE NOW!)

too sleepy to go on....

saving money for the big move... so if anyone just has some lying around.. I will put it to good use for ya:)

April 28, 2006

just like dancer in the dark

i know this is my first post in a while and I should try to keep it light...but

I just saw United 93.

and then I threw up.

just one more fucking amazing unbelievable movie I will never EVER watch again.

April 9, 2006

it's a little sad being me right now. i want it to be chicago and casey today.

i want to feel......

March 20, 2006


My brother took my lap top school so I have no internet and it is going to make things a little difficult. I won't be able to reply to email because I won't be able to check it so No one get mad at me here. I am going to try to get on my Dad's work computer but I can only do that when he isn't working on it, and he usually is.

things are going. I'm getting a little scared about moving to Chicago... that is a big step... big jump... little scary but, I think that means it's a good idea. I have been unbelievably scared before all major events in my life and usually the things I think I want to back out of at the last minute are the ones I enjoy most... such as going to college in the first place and going to Brno... but both of those were amazing for the most part....

I'm pretty lonely down here.... and more than a little bored.

March 16, 2006

i feel like this.

Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control

Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside


V for Vendetta is the best movie so far this year. Unfucking believable. Fuck yeah!

March 14, 2006

March 9, 2006

my dog Babe died and I feel all alone.

March 2, 2006

just some stars

Pink Panther : 1/2*
Nanny McPhee: ***
Curious George: *
Freedomland: no stars (a first for me)
Firewall: 1/2*
Final Destination 3: **1/2
8 Below: ***
Madea's Family Reunion: *1/2
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: ****
Ong Bak: ***1/2
Old Boy: ****
Donnie Darko: ***1/2
Aquamarine: *1/2
Ultraviolet: *
When a Stranger Calls: No stars
Big Mama's House 2: *
Doogal: no stars
The Emperor's New Groove: ***
Quick Change: *1/2
Lost Boys: 1/2*
Date Movie: 1/2*
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada: ***1/2
Brokeback Mountain: ***
Brotherhood of the Wolf: ****
Layer Cake: ***
Frailty: **1/2
The Aristocrats: ***
The 5 Obstructions: **
(unknown title: documentary about Metal Music): ***
Crash:** ( this is not everything that you want it to be..... at all)

that is all I can remember right now.....

Full is not as heavy as empty.......not nearly my love... not nearly my love.. .not nearly

You see, my problem is, my favorite time of day is between midnight and about 7am.
You get to see the whole world asleep and then suddenly awake again.
It is as if everything is happening at the same time.

it is as if I am, again, walking down masarykova with a lying black man who would later impregnate my friend.
It is as if it were all happening now.

or maybe it is riding in the car with the windows rolled down, watching the first bit of sunlight touch the
is every song on the radio being the right one for the time

it is all nostalgia.

it is the wind in the trees and first few drivers on the road, the first few pedestrians on the street.

the smell of fresh bread.

it is eveyday new and different and reborn.

and if I believed in God, now would be the time he would tell us, "it is good", even if it is not.

February 13, 2006

I love Karl

If you don't know who this is....then you need to. Download Itunes...go to Podcasts and get the Ricky Gervais show.

February 4, 2006

I have been thinking

Maybe we should think of the middle as not being gray but, being both black and white. All reflecting and all absorbing. And if love exists as anything more than the idea of love, then this is where it must live.

January 14, 2006


well it was mu birthday and Hannah was able to come in from Nashville along with all the regal managerial crew (except ryan and AJ).

Okay i was going to write a whole post about shit and what happened on my birthday but I can't take it anymore... Ian got me Calvin and Hobbes. All of it. In the big orange holder. can you guess my reaction.

anyway the party was fun and silly, if not a little boring.

January 3, 2006


I am moving to Chicago.. hopefully September 1st. I don't have to go to grad school. I don't have to be a librarian. I am moving to chicago with no plans except to do a little theatre if I can.

it was a bad day.

Pedro the Lion broke up.

can i get a hug, please? a little snuggling?