September 3, 2005

An Honest Question

I was just wondering if anyone still believes in love?

September 2, 2005

how it feels in to be here

someone asked me how it was to be back...

and I thought it merited posting

You asked me how it was... about how I feel now... and the only answer is... I feel lost. I feel like I am floating in a country that I don't understand. I don't understand anything we are doing. Sometimes I don't know when people are talking to me. I keep thinking that I am hearing other languages and it turns out just to be people mumbling. I spoke Polish to a 5 year old today (no worries, he spoke Polish too).

It doesn't help that I think I don't want to do theatre which leaves me with nothing to do. I have no goals, no hopes, and my dreams have become only to be able to Not throw myself off the roof at work. I want to go back. I don't live here anymore.

I have more to add:

I have to buy a car. I don't want to do that. I owe UTC 20,000. What I need right now, is a fucking purpose.

Jack Gilbert

I was going to post this poem but I can't find it online and I know I have it somewhere and I know I have it on the shelf but I am too tired.

go to

look up Jack Gilbert

Find a book of poems called The Great Fires

"Look Inside" til you get to Dante Dancing

Read it.

and something of my own


I have cleaned the popper. I have cleaned the popper. I cut myself 5 times.

obviously I need bed.

September 1, 2005

Transporter 2

Rating: PG13 (for partial nudity, tense situations, violence, and mild language)

Summation (Stars given out of 4)

Violence: **
Language: *
Rewatchability: **

Overall: **1/2

Let us take into account that this is an action movie. There are, of course, the required amount of cops cars running into each other: on bridges, in parking garages, on the streets of an infamous drug trafficking city (Miami). There is the naked-as-allowable-for-PG13-movies girl with several large guns. The virus that will destroy the politicians but, there are also many fun surprises. Mixed in with all the To-Be-expected are some surprisingly interesting and expertly choreographed fight scenes (my favorite involving a fire hose {almost reminiscent of Home Alone[minus the annoying kid]}).
Jason Statham gives believability to his character, if not to some of the stunts performed in the film; the acceptability of the action aside, seeing a car fly from one parking garage to another is still a pretty cool trick. My only three problems with the film are these: abrupt and lame ending. Everything just sort of rights itself with no information as to how or as to what happens to the bad guy, a few cheesy bad guy scenes, and some awful plane animation. But it's just an action movie, right? You won't hate yourself for paying for it if action is what you are looking for.

August 30, 2005

Making New Friends (Do I dare to eat a peach?)

Some days things go really well.

I threaded all of the projectors (excpet one) for the 7's last night. Learning something in a day feels pretty good. And I only fucked up once, and it wasn't that bad.

I saw The Greatest Game Ever Played secretly last night. I know that it looks like a golf movie and it is disney and all that but, jeez it was unbelievably wonderful. It is really the best thing that I have seen since I got back here (not that the movie selection has been outstanding or anything).

I have been wondering lately......

How much are we required to live in reality? I mean what does that even mean, right? Is it silly to have dreams? I mean any kind of dream.

I want to be cinderella. I do. There is no denying it. Is that any siller than someone wanting to be a stock broker or someone wanting to be house painter?

Even if it is.... does that really matter?

Jeez I feel just as circular as fucking T.S. Elliot right now.

(see post title for continued cirular movement)

August 28, 2005


So what do you do when your dad tells you that you used to be beautiful.

Cry, sounded good to me.